Why Write & Peak?

January 4th, 2018

I’ve decided on a blog name. It’s a little play on hide & seek. I’m determined to not let 2018 become a hide & seek game. I feel like I’ve been hiding for the past couple of years. Slowly losing friends and myself all at once; seeking for who I am now.  We know that my 2018 resolution is to write but the ‘peak’ was inspired by Sam Heughan’s My Peak Challenge. Not only am I a HUGE Jamie Fraser, Sam Heughan, Outlander, Scotland fan, but I love the idea of peaking to my full potential as a mother, woman, friend; physically, spiritually, and mentally.

Do you ever view yourself in different stages of your life? I can vividly see myself as a 4 year old, 4th grader, 7th grader, high schooler, and then 21. All very defining moments in my life and all very different “me’s.”

One time in kindergarten I had a scratch on the underside of my chin. I quickly realized that it must have a hole in it. I cupped my hands under my chin for what felt like hours. And then the hour of the day I’d been dreading ticked into place...“snack time”. I turned to the boy standing beside me at the sand/ water table and carefully uncovered my hands to reveal what I was sure was a massive hole. I asked him if there was a hole there to which he replied, “yes.” ALL FEARS CONFIRMED! That was it, I couldn’t eat snack that day for fear food or water would spew from the hole. That was me in a nutshell at 4 years old. Weird.

Now I have my own 4 year old. I don’t think she’s anywhere near as weird as I am. It’s uncommonly freezing outside this week. My children are going house crazy. My downstairs heat has been broken. We’ve all been stuck upstairs and I have a sick baby so going somewhere is a little out of the question or we’d be living at Chick-fil-A.

Today the littlest dawned the middle’s old flower girl dress, the middle put on a dance recital costume (she is dramatic and weird and a kindred middle- child- of -three- girls soul), and the oldest put on the most beautiful and simple white dress from Bella Bridesmaids. She was walking around calling herself a bride. It’s all happening so fast. How does the little girl with the hole in her chin already have one that's the same age? We decided to have an impromptu photo shoot against our recently renovated bathroom (more on that soon). I can’t stop looking at the pictures of my oldest. The simplicity of the white against the wood. Her long brown hair with sun-kissed streaks laying against the bridal dress of 4 year old’s mind. The smile that I’ll ever more remember reaching into her eyes colored like mine. I’ll love you forever, little girl.